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i miss my mummy, and i wish she could be here, with me. i wish i can do her proud, and thank her enough for what she has done for us.

last friday, somebody passed away, in school. as highly unlikely as it was, it happened. i havent seen a body before, never thought that i would be traumatised or anything by it, but it did affect me in the slightest way. that poor guy wasnt even prepared for it, he might be on the way home, or on his way to get coffee, it was so sudden. his family wasnt even there with him, they did not even have a chance to say their goodbyes, he did not even have a chance to have his last words. that last phone call he made, was it to his loved ones? i always knew life was fragile, but i didnt know it was that fragile, you cant even prepare yourself for it. for the unpredictability of life, death is always certain.

i guess i never really knew how to deal with death, since my last encounter of it, i was still so young. and i hope that it will be a looooooooooong looooooong time before i have to deal with death again.

for the poor guy that passed away last friday, i am sorry, i am sorry you did not get to see your loved ones, i am sorry you had to pass away so uncomfortably, i am sorry you had to go. i may not have known you, but im sure in my 2 years in school, we would have passed each other, in one way or another. so now, i wish you well, wherever you are.

in my third year, every thing is going so fast and yet so slow. i cant seem to have enough time to read and absorb my readers and on the other hand, i cant wait to get just get over it already and graduate.

think my brain is quite filled up these days with current school work, future school work and dissertation, and possibilities of my future which i am still so uncertain of. i dont know, channeling positive energy as much as i can nowadays. not an easy thing considering i am quite a skeptic myself. but I CAN DO IT! (the CAN-DO ATTITUDE! im trying to psych myself as much as possible)

im starting to observe my surroundings a little more these days, i realised there will be quite a number of things i will miss about london. the shopping definitely, the squirrels i see randomly, roses and sunflowers by the road, the cold, the buildings, the animated public transport (even though its irritating at times), little of this and little of that. yes, i will miss london.

 

wish you were here, then i thought you probably wish i was there. and i wish i was there too.

 

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i kind sorta miss london. my last year here, going to embrace everything in this short time frame i have. work hard, be good.

its april already (:

i’ve officially been on holiday for about a month, and i still have an assignment due on 20th apr, which i totally havent prepared or started yet. YAY! and this internship thingy, i hope it all goes well, but im REALLY HAPPY and feel REALLY LUCKY that i got an internship. come to think of it, i should already be already thinking about my dissertation, but i seriously have no idea what i want to write. that is totally like do or die. i dont get why they only take into account results of third year. scary scary.

oh yah, and i moved. heh. i cant decide whether i love or hate this place as much as finchley for now. but im still getting use to rotherhithe. too noisy, although it does feel a little like living in singapore, but finchley was so much quieter. one good thing is that our living room is much bigger. i hate my bed now though, even with the matteress topper thingy, i can still feel the springs in the mattress ):

my new room.

not bigger than my previous room, but i dont spend much time in my room now anyway, most of our time is in the living room. i think it just takes time to like rotherhithe, afterall i’ve live in finchley for a year, and it’s been a wonderful place. i hope i fall in love with rotherhithe soon (:

最近有点空虚。

LOOK WHO’S IN LONDON FOR THE WEEK. MY AWESOME POSSUM SISTER. MISS KOH YAN TING. she’s probably on the plane now, and i already miss her :/

although this week had been hectic, i enjoyed it thoroughly. friends really do make time pass much faster. this week with her felt like im a tourist all over again too. saw the big ben up close, went to tower bridge, went to 2 weekend markets which i havent been to before, took a half-day trip to see stones in stonehenge. it was a fun-filled fruitful week, probably my best week in london so far, despite being so ttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddddddddd out. and i took a day rest for yt to go shopping. heh.

thank you, for coming over and spending time with me :D 

it takes effort for friendship to work, and some other things as well. but effort plays a major role, in friendship, in kinship, in relationship. these people are amazing, the way they always made an effort and time for each other. anything that invovles two or more people is a two way street. it would have never worked out if only one of them is trying, eventually, we’ll stop trying. not because we dont love each other anymore, for i believe love is always there, but because we got tired.

thank you, my amazing friends for always trying, making effort and time. merry christmas.

yesterday, my friend was suddenly interested in singapore.

friend: “what’s the language of singapore?”

without really thinking,

me: “SINGLISH.”

michelle: “HAHAHAHAHAHA, ENGLISH LAH.”

……

i made a fool out of myself, good job singaporean.

maybe i am too conventional or maybe i am too 死板, it is either one. because i really dont understand the ang mohs. i think it is good to have so many ideas and be creative, but we’ll eventually need to focus and concentrate on ONE central idea. erm, so what’s our central idea again? dont understand. then again, that’s how they work, so i went along. somehow now that i am in a new environment, i can “see” myself better. i begin to see myself from an outsider’s point of view – i looked like some kind of dictator and sounded so rigid in my ways. this group work helped me learned something about myself, not necessarily a good thing, but since its not, so i’ll change. and i have. considering i have taken a step back, listened and tried new ideas. i still give my ideas as per usual, not like i am slacking my time away. i might have a lot of complains along the way, it has helped me to see i could be such a pain in the ass as well, too rigid for my own good. so yup, all in all, its a good thing….i guess.

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