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we all have our quirks, and being in love with you means knowing you’re the one person who won’t judge me for mine.

Thought Catalog

Loving you feels like not being embarrassed the first time you discover I’m a toe-grabber, or the time you catch me going in on that Britney Spears song when I thought you were out of the house already. It feels like not being embarrassed to tell you I actually like that Adam Lambert song and that I think Miley Cyrus is a genius. We all have our quirks, and being in love with you means knowing you’re the one person who won’t judge me for mine.

Loving you feels like having the world’s best publicist. Being with you means knowing that we will encourage each other no matter what we want to do, even if you don’t agree with me, even if you think it’s wrong, even if what I want to do is not necessarily your thing, even if the whole thing turns out to be a complete…

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i wish i could write my feelings as well as this, and tell you how i feel. because this truly describe how i feel when i am with you.

23 ways to show someone you love them, from thought catalog.

1. Make them their favorite food and surprise them with it when they come home.

2. Clean for them, especially things you know that they hate doing, like vacuuming or changing the sheets.

3. When it’s raining outside, bring them their favorite hot drink and cuddle with them under a blanket while you listen to the storm outside.

4. Let them pick the movie you watch tonight, and do your best to enjoy it, even if it isn’t something you would have picked.

5. Offer to take them to an appointment or pick them up somewhere late at night when you know that it’s inconvenient to ask for help.

6. When they are feeling very upset, hold them against your chest and let them talk to you about whatever they need to talk about, for as long as they need to talk. Stroke their hair until they calm down a little bit and feel that someone is listening to them.

7. Tell them something that you love about them, no matter how minor or seemingly insignificant it is.

8. Introduce them to people in your life and show how proud you are to have someone like this to present to friends and family. Make sure they know that they are a welcome guest and someone everyone is excited to meet, because you know how scary it can be to come into someone else’s world.

9. Make room for them in your bed, and let them take the side that they sleep best on, even if you like that side, too.

10. Let them try a big bite of your dessert off your spoon, even if you secretly just want to eat the whole thing by yourself.

11. Let them have the last slice of pizza (I know, I know).

12. Hold them and kiss them all over their face very softly as you’re both waking up — their nose, their forehead, their cheeks. Make them feel that they are loved, even first thing in the morning.

13. Listen to their embarrassing stories from childhood and adolescence, and don’t laugh, because you know how much it hurt to be young and alone.

14. Kiss the parts of them that they are self-conscious about, letting them know that these parts are beautiful — not because you pity them, but because they are part of a greater whole which wouldn’t be the same without them.

15. Tell them a secret that you’ve never told anyone before and really trust that they’re going to keep it.

16. Watch them get ready and tell them what you like most about the way they look and how they’re putting themselves together.

17. Notice when they do something to change their appearance and give your honest opinion about it.

18. Accompany them on an errand they like, such as shopping or going to a market, even though it might not be your favorite thing.

19. Teach them how to do something that you love. And be patient, because the fact that they are trying and listening is already wonderful enough.

20. Remind them that they are worthy and deserving, and that you are lucky to have them.

21. Find something nice and likable in their friends and family, even if you sometimes feel like you don’t have much in common with them. Understand that sometimes we don’t always choose who we grow up with, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing worth caring about in them.

22. Go to a museum with them and really ask their opinion and emotions towards various works, really listening to what they have to say.

23. Kiss them when they are not expecting it, and try to say everything with this kiss that you may feel too nervous or cheesy to say out loud. Trust that they understand you, even if you don’t always have the right words for it. Remember that this, above all else, is why you love them so much.

thank you for showing me 19 ways, and many more in your own ways.

You realized that it’s not love’s job to make you happy. It comes and goes. The only person you have to be happy with and truly love is yourself.

thought catalog

at the end of the day, the first kind of love you need to learn, is to learn to love yourself. and i dont love myself very much, so i thank you for loving me more.

came across an article on thought catalog and this is exactly how i feel. its not easy, at least we try.

……

How To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work

Authors’ note: I wrote mine, he wrote his — we pieced them together, all via email. How else would we get anything done?
APR. 1, 2012

Minneapolis: First, you best be certain, but don’t over-think that. I don’t mean a lifetime commitment. I’m not saying you’ve found “the one.” Simply, be certain that — right now, in this moment — the other person, this relationship and all that will be unique to it, are exactly what you want. Among the variables distance brings, there is a constant: This relationship cannot be half-assed. Get into it knowing it’s what you want.

Detroit: Long distance is hard, but you chose it, so there’s no whining. It’s better than the alternative, which is unthinkable. It has to be worth it. You have to be with someone who makes it worth it. You both have to be all-in, or it’s not going to work.

Minneapolis: Our progression went something like this: Long-distance professional colleagues. Long-distance friends. Long-distance best friends. That all took about three years. By the time it became long-distance love, neither my heart nor mind gave me any other choice. Their rare duet had a booming chorus: “This girl is your soul mate. You’re crazy about her. It doesn’t make any sense to fight it.”

Distance plants crazy thoughts like land mines on the plains of sanity.

When it happens, I step around the thoughts, duck and cover from the doubts, and I don’t flinch. That’s what you do when you KNOW.

Detroit: He’s the first person I think about in the morning, and usually the first person I talk to. I’m using talk as a flexible verb, here. It can be a text message, a phone call, an email, a video chat, an instant message. He’s the first person I want to have contact with. There’s an hour time difference, so I’m often awake first. I start with “Good morning, I love you.” I want him to wake up and be in a good mood.

Minneapolis: You have to talk. A lot. Take all the gestures a so-called normal relationship entails: touching their hand, wiping their tears away, fingers through their hair, throwing crackers at them because you see them standing there and want to throw crackers. All of that is replaced with communication. Talk about the mundane. Talk about the news. Talk about your future. Tell a dirty joke. Run a gamut of emotion in whatever manner you need. 

Detroit: Communication is all we have. We talk about everything. We’ve covered big things, like how we’re learning to let our walls down, and scars we both have from previous (not quite perfect for us) people. We break it up with smaller, fun things, like ‘did you see this video?’ or ‘did you read this article?’ We talk until we run out of topics and then we talk some more.

I imagine that if we lived in the same city, most of our time would be spent doing something together: Watching movies, reading books, and just being. But for now, we cover the gap with communication.

Minneapolis: I can pick up her mood by her vocabulary now. Even via text message, I can tell if she’s happy, if she’s angsty, gauge her libido. The sound of her voice pauses my world no matter the time, no matter the situation, no matter my mood. The pop up of a message from her is the difference between getting up to face the world and crashing back into bed for a few hundred lines of instant messaging. Skype is a gift from the heavens that can cut through weeks and miles of separation with one belly laugh.

Detroit: We send sexy text messages. It’s a coping mechanism, and when you’re not getting any for two to three week stretches, your imagination tends to run wild. We think about it so much when we’re apart that when we are together, the sex is out of this world. And that is not hyperbole.

Minneapolis: Oh, and there’s the sexting. I don’t mean cutesy “What are you wearing?” sexting. I mean vivid-as-a-solstice-sunrise “If you were here right now this is where my tongue would be and this is what it would be doing” sexting. Sex drives don’t understand miles. They basically understand, “I really want to grab onto something” and “Holy freaking WOW” and that’s about it. Embrace it. Sext like it’s an Olympic sport and you’ve promised a gold for your country.

Detroit: When we see one another, which is every two or three weeks at the moment, we make it count. I greet him at the airport with a hand-painted sign that says “I love you like there is no tomorrow.” He picks me up, spins me around, and whispers in my ear. I meet up with him in a different city, and he says “We have a stop to make.” We end up at a bakery, for a surprise belated birthday cake.

Minneapolis: We make time together count. Every time I see her, the first thing I do is pick her up and spin her around, whispering something mushy in her ear. The camera may as well be pulling away and credits rolling with “the boy damn sure did get the girl” music starting up.

Some people wait their whole lives and never have that feeling. But every time I see her, we start with a romantic ending.

Detroit: We get hotel rooms with big showers and bring candles and music and do crazy romantic cheesy things, because whatever we do has to last until the next time. We try to make sure there is always a next time, something to look forward to even as we are leaving.

Minneapolis: We fill our time together like every other couple. Bad TV. Starbucks. We just make it count a lot more than those people. I make the touch of her hand last me two weeks. I memorize the rasps in her voice. Oh. And what normal people call “amazing sex,” we might possibly consider calling “pretty ok” depending on whether they even belonged in the same conversation as us in the first place. (They probably don’t.)

Detroit: Every night we are apart, there is a bedtime phone call. Even if I am asleep he calls to wake me up and I mumble something sleepy-cute. Often we’ll be texting or messaging and I will type, “Getting sleepy, call when you’re in bed.” Even if we only talk for a second, I go to bed feeling loved. And at the end of the day, that is always enough.

Minneapolis: And lastly: “It’s late. I can’t keep my eyes open. I’ll say this like I did yesterday and the day before, and tomorrow and the day after. I miss you. I love you. Good night.”

……

one more year and this would be over.

i miss you.

i was reading a story in tiny buddha about “love” and came across a comment, which i thought was more meaningful than the story itself. not that the story is not meaningful. but to me, the comment sums up the story itself.

……

“Love” is one of those word that means many things to many people. I have a few definitions myself.

One is: “I want you in my life and I want to be in yours.”

Another is: “I feel an honest and truthful connection between us.”

A third is, “When I’m with you, I feel I have permission to love myself.”

The forth is: “I’m committed to help you in any way when you need me.”

One or more of these conditions will create a loving bond. When I have all four working with someone, as I do with my wife, I can trust that love to weather the ups and downs of change. So far it has.

One thing though, Not one of these definitions are unconditional. Once lying or disloyalty contaminates the commitments, the love recedes. Not because I make a conscious effort to make that happen, but because my human sense of preservation and survival kicks in.

I avoid pain, and anyone who consciously inflicts it on me more than a few times. That’s why KINDNESS and EMPATHY are crucial ingredients within the mix of love. At least for me.

Take care Lori. You deserve to be loved.

Irv

……

who do you love?

趁我还年轻, 可以毫无保留的为爱付出;

趁我还无知, 可以完完全全的奉献自己;

趁我还天真, 可以相信爱你是一辈子的事情。

请你爱我的青春, 爱我的痴狂, 爱我的执着;

让我们在还没有学会世故计算的青涩年代,

好好谈一场幼稚的恋爱吧!

……

喜歡機米的作品。

愛情不容易, 可是至少盡力, 付出。

不知道將來會是怎樣, 知道現在的我們很幸福, 其實也不錯。

Carrots, Eggs or Coffee Bean?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what do you see?”

“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked. “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

……

so are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

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